I don't get away with anything. I mean, I'm technically expecting a baby! But no eating for two. No buying maternity clothes. No strangers trying to invade my bubble. Nothing.
Just once I'd love some huge hormonal fit, complete with balling and throwing things! And in a public place! While demanding ice cream! I'd put a beach ball under my shirt so everyone would know where it was coming from.
When I was pregnant with my daughter I made my husband do midnight chimichanga runs as I laid on the couch weighing over two thousand pounds. And as he was running out the door I'd ask him if I looked fat and if he found me pretty. (I may have had puke in my hair.) Then he'd come home with the chimichanga and it would smell terrible because the window of opportunity to feed me in between bouts of harsh nausea had come and gone. I would get upset with him that he wasn't faster and ask him why in the world he would bring a chimichanga into my house when I'm this miserable?!!! Then he would have to walk down the road to the dumpster to throw it away because the smell was making me hurl. About ten minutes after I hurled all I wanted in the world was a chimichanga. Not having one in my hand that instance was also, I'm pretty sure, my husband's fault.
Heh. Good times.
<<<UPDATE>>> My husband says it was a chalupa. I blamed not remembering on my pregnancy hormones. Yep still using that one. :)
<<<ANOTHER UPDATE>>> My husband then said, "You said you were over two thousand pounds, you meant to write two hundred. You were over two hundred pounds if I remember right."
...
I let him live.
I am dying laughing over here. I love your ability to tease and laugh at yourself.
ReplyDeleteYou guys are hilarious and impossible not to love.
ReplyDeleteBwahahaha! I'm impressed you let him live... :)
ReplyDeleteHello
ReplyDeleteMy name is Karen. I know people will tell you things and some hit your heart and some hit your mind and some do not matter. My son, now 13 had (notice the past tense) an hemangioma in almost exactly the same location and same size as your son. He also had a huge one on the back of his leg. I heard many different things from the doctors from 3 years to 7 years and it would "fade". The one on the back of his leg is long gone and not a mark can be seen. The one on his face flattened and faded over the years to nothing. I cannot remember the age but maybe 6ish. My daughter, now 9 is adopted from The Ukraine. The last thing the care givers said about my little AMCer was send us a PIC when she can raise her arms above her head. I smiled knowing, that although my daughter's arms were locked in extension and she could not feed herself, that I indeed would some day do just that. Today, My daughter can be seen riding horseback, doing back flips off the dive board, hanging from the trapeze in her circus act, tubing behind a boat and yes, raising her arms to comb her own hair!!!!!!! Both of my children are models too. Although this is the short version of a loooooonnnnnnngggg story and lots of therapy....... the ending is a big heart of love. Email if you need to talk or have questions, I know I had millions. Good luck and God's peace with you and your family
Karenstary@gmail.com