I'm Going To Be His Mommy!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

I get my baby!!!!!!!!!

Today "Joel" moved onto the My Family Found Me page on Reece's Rainbow. Today my little lost baby boy is claimed!

By ME!!!

Day before yesterday we were grieving we couldn't have him. Yesterday we got the green light. Today he moves onto the best page in the world! What a roller coaster ride!!!

If you don't get how big a MIRACLE this is then you don't know my story. I've wanted this guy for a year. A looooooooooong year. We just couldn't do it. One night I cried the whole night into my husband's chest. We spent weeks talking about Joel's future. But for many reasons we got a big loud and clear NO. And that night in August I wrote this blog post.

I told my husband it felt like I was giving my son up for adoption.

My family wisely told me to advocate for Joel, but to not drive my husband crazy about it.

Then we embarked on an adoption journey to save "someone like Joel." We prayerfully pursued a Home Study. What we didn't realize was that once you sign that application, the Home Study people start CALLING YOUR REFERENCES!!! Let's just say our references were surprised. :) Then they started calling me, "You're adopting?!! Congratulations!!" And we were all, "Um, we're seriously considering it." Oops. Well we started the Home Study in July and finished it in late October. We were in no hurry. I wanted to adopt Joel, and we had many many more discussions about him, but we still didn't think we could handle epilepsy. I mean they wouldn't write "convulsive disorder" on an orphan's rap sheet unless it was a big deal, right? Maybe it was code for grand mal seizures! Even just a little seizure every now and then would be hard. I was willing to take him anyway, but I couldn't do this alone. I prayed for God to take that one little condition off of Joel's description so I could have him. But it wasn't budging.

Then on December 14th, last Wednesday, I had no peace about anything. I sent yet another email to Andrea and called my husband at work in tears. "He's my son," I told my husband, "I'm so sorry I feel this way because I know he has a condition that we don't feel we can handle, but we're both willing to adopt and we both are willing to take on a child with arthrogryposis from an institution, how much harder can a little convulsive disorder be?!" 

My husband promised to pray about it. Later that night we talked again. Charley threw around wild ideas about trying to get someone over in this boy's birth country to stop by the baby house and see how bad the seizures or brain damage was. We even asked Andrea if there was a chance that one of us could fly over and see him even though I have no idea where that money would have come from. These, my friends, are the signs of insanity. ;) We were just going nuts.

The same day (Wednesday) I wrote on Facebook, "ALL I want for Christmas is for this little boy's mom to call me and say, 'He's mine! I found him! Sorry it took so long. No need to have a heart attack worrying about him anymore. I got this one.' Is that too much to ask?"

I was heartbroken. My friends were NO HELP! (Hehe. :)) They were saying, "What if he's yours? What if you're meant to have him? Wouldn't he fit perfectly in your family?" I wanted to say, "I KNOW HE'S MINE AND YES HE WOULD FIT PERFECTLY IN MY FAMILY! BUT WE CAN'T!!!" (I'm laughing out loud as I write this. Laelia just asked me what was so funny. :))

Then THE VERY NEXT DAY we got the email from Andrea. (See previous blog post below.) No seizures. Green light. Go go go!

And then TODAY we went out and notarized and faxed Reece's Rainbow the paperwork they needed. I actually just walked in the door from doing that. I sat down at my computer to look at his picture when I realized Joel moved to the My Family Found Me page!!! (They don't waste time!) 

Then I jumped on Facebook and saw my friend Julia had posted Joel's picture and said, "MY DAY HAS BEEN MADE!!! THANK YOU TO WHOMEVER HAS CHOSEN TO BRING THIS SWEET BABE HOME!! Alexis Wesley did you see this??????"

(No where does it mention who is adopting Joel.)

Tracey also celebrated and tagged me. She has been more convincing this year than she knows. There were a couple things she said to me at the AMC convention in Kansas City that have stuck with me all these months. I can't wait to tell her! 

I can't wait to tell everyone!

We were going to wait to announce our adoption until after Christmas when we could tell our family in person, but I don't know how much longer I can hold out! I'm jumping up and down and my heart is exploding in my chest! I've waited a year to call that child mine!

MINE MINE MINE!!!